Future of Customer Care

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I
have your…”

Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card
number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…, hold
on……6102049998-45-54610″

Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re
calling from 17 Jalan Kayu.
Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302
and your mobile is 0142662566.
Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?”

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you
have high blood pressure
and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza.
You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular
Hokkien Dishes” from the
National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family
size ones then, how much
will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family
of 10, Sir. The total
is
$49.99″

Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash,Sir.
Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55
since October last year.
That’s not including the late payment charges on
your housing loan, Sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the
neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the
records,you’ve reached your daily
limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll
have the cash ready. How
long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t
wait you can always come
and collect it on your motorcycle…”

Customer: ” What!”

Operator : “According to the details in system ,you
own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…”

Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you
giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on
your records you’re also
diabetic……. ”

Customer: “#$$^%&$@$%^”

Operator “Better watch your language Sir. Remember
on 15th July 1987 you
were convicted of using abusive language on a
policeman…?”

Customer: ????

So think
twice before applying for an ID card!!